The Godfather

Show me your respect by kissing my ring, "and if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you"

Amazingly, some of the people attending the baptism did kiss my ring!! Don Espinoza rules, ha!



By the way, yeah, this was not only about my becoming The Godfather, Maria Attila was there as well to be baptised. It's strange to hold a baby, Maria Attila moved a lot and gave me the impression she wanted to get out of my arms, so after they took this picture I quickly gave her back to my sister to avoid accidents. Can you see the ring?

In the end I was way too formal for the Floridian ceremony, these flowery two are the happy parents. Believe it or not, Tom goes to work wearing shirts like that!

Lord of the rings!!!

So, Maria Attila Anderson was born, and my sister asked me to be the godfather. Yep, Don Espinoza, il Padrino!!!!!!

I immediately set my priorities right, as usual, and started looking for an engraved ring for the ceremony. I am sure almost everyone has seen The Godfather, the film, and if you have you certainly remember the last scene, when Michael is sort of crowned the new Don Corleone, and everyone kisses his ring. Just in case you haven't seen the film (errr... Nadya?) the plot is here .

The idea was to get a big monogrammed gold ring, but of course that was too expensive for something I would only wear a couple of hours. After all, I am not a blingy guy, I am not a hip hop star, I don't even like hip hop, I can't weer a gold ring!

I visited many jewelleries and told them all about my plan. They found it very funny, but the cheapest ring they had was $460.

Then I found this cheapo ring in a small hip hop store (seriosuly, their slogan is "hip hop in style") I liked the N, which meant that it would not need to be customised, i.e. I could return it right after the baptism. It was an option...

This other ring is horryfing, but they said they could take the glass bits off and fill the holes with silver, making a flat surface they would have engraved with my initials. Nah, too complicated...




And then as always I got inspired in the last minute, I disassembled my wrist watch and with the band I made a ring. I liked it so much that I got it engraved, now this is a powerful ring!

Sweet Scarlet!

And then it was time to find a car. I had rented the smallest and cheapest Chevrolet Cobalt at the airport for a week, renting it for a further 7 weeks (the minimum stay in Texas, the length of the contract) would have cost me $1,800, so my objective was to find a decent set of wheels for less than that, then whatever I could get after selling the car would be a saving compared to the rental.
There are a lot of stories of people getting a working car for $500, and I naively hoped I would do the same. Well, it takes time, those cars are not advertised, you need to know someone, and at that point I only knew the landlady and a couple of people at work. I went through the car lots and realised how those guys make money: not by selling cars, but by selling on credit. If they buy a car in a good condition, they lease it, because they don't expect the car to fail (if they lease it they have to guarantee the car for the length of the lease), the interest is high and most people return the car before the end of the lease, which means that the dealer charges the commission again, to a new buyer. It's a very good business for the dealer, and the easiest way to start building a credit history for a foreigner like me. Now, if the car is not in good condition, they sell it for cash, "as is", no warranty.

So I only found crappy cars for cash, and when I saw a nice Pontiac Firebird for a bit more than my budget, they didn't want to sell it to me, they said they would only lease it. It was bizarre at first, they did not want my money, they only wanted to sell the car on credit. It makes sense now of course, I just didn't know, they didn't teach me that at business school...

Anyway, so after a long day I had only found a couple of Cavaliers for $2,200 and $2,500. More than my budget, and also that car is only used for taxis in Chile. And the ones I found had four doors, I'm not old enough to drive a 4-door car, no way!

But at the end of that day, having to return the rental next morning, I started to consider the Cavalier, after all, I thought, nobody needs to know...

"And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer..."

17:50, last shot, I went to the lot where I had seen a cheap Cavalier, and then I saw Scarlet. Bright red, louvered hood, double exhaust, I fell in love. She looks like a footballer's car, in Chile it would be considered "cafichon" (pimpy), but hey, in the tasteless land she looks good!!

Of course, she was sold "as is" and being a 1992 car it was a bit of a risk. I know a lot about cars, so I took her for a ride around the lot to find potential problems, but when I stepped on the gas I effortlessly smoked the wheels, that was it!!! end of the test drive, I wanted her!! She was listed at $1,995 plus taxes and fees, but after a while I got the price down to $1,800 all inclusive, exactly my limit. I was so eager to take her home that they didn't wash the price from the windshield!

Two door coupe, with the mandatory useless spoiler.













Double exhaust nicely tuned to sound very mean













And of course the fake air intakes on the bonnet.













Now, she's got issues, like the brakes don't work well, the seatbelts don't work at all, headlights seem to be burnt... minor details anyway, I'll fix them little by little. The 3.4 litre DOHC engine is solid, all the 210 horses are still there and the tranny is good, that's all that matters to me. Oh, and she is still bright red!!!

Electromagnetic waves anyone?

"-My name is Antenna Galore.
- I musssht be dreaming!"

I work for Westar Satellite Services, and my office is at the heart of their teleport, surrounded by gigantic satellite dishes. Some are 11m in diameter, there are more than 30 dishes facing south, pointing at geostationary satellites over the Equator.

Is that cool or what?





The big bastard below is already decommissioned, but it looks impressive nonetheless. Those in the know realise that the shape is not right, the beam it sends is wider than 2 degrees, which is not allowed by the FCC anymore, as it would interfere with too many satellites. So it is useless, and as it is slowly rusting away it is becoming dangerous, some similar antennae have collapsed over neighbouring buildings in other teleports. The customers do not like it, they have asked Westar to take it down, which would cost a lot of money. If I had the money I'd do them the favour, I would dismantle it and then install it in my front garden. And I would paint "CIA" on the base, I bet that no neighbour would mess with me.


If I believed all the rubbish that is published every day I'd be very worried. Every other day there is a "study" that suggests that electromagnetic waves cause cancer, memory loss, headaches, impotence, you name it, and of course some jobless activist gets carried away and starts a campaign against the culprit. I remember reading about some university recommending using hands free kits with mobiles, so that the phone itself is kept away from the head, to avoid memory loss. And so many people protest against having a mobile antenna near (or on top of) their home. There is even people complaining about overhead lines "affecting" them!

Bollocks! I am surrounded by powerful antennae transmitting signals of several kilowatts and my brain is doing fine thank you very much, I am not going to worry about a tiny mobile phone getting too close to my head!

Alright, this is what I am talking about!!!

So I came all the way from London to work here, in Cedar Hill, a small town 20 minutes south of Dallas. I traded what is probably the most exciting city in the world for a sleepy town where they don't even sell alcohol (seriously).

And what for?

Well, have a look at my office:



Not bad, huh? While at Oakam I was working in a basement, without natural light, sharing a desk, shoulder to shoulder with 5 more people in an 8'x15' room. Then at Pepper Corp I had natural light, but I didn't even had a cubicle, just a computer in a desk against the wall.

Now I finally have the office I deserve, I could even park my car or have a party inside!

Hardest belly ever!

First stop was Miami, my sister was supposed to give birth on Saturday 7 July 2007, or 07-07-07

Well that was the plan, the doctor was positive it would happen when he said it would, my parents believed him and flew all the way from Chile to be there that weekend. Last time we had all been together was in October, so it was nice to stop on my way to Dallas.

This is how my sister looked, seemed ready to go if you ask me, but later we knew that little Amy had a bit of a problem, she's got the Espinoza head and got stuck, so nothing happened that weekend.



By the way, to me Amy will always be Maria Attila, the name I suggested and that my sister didn't like. She asked me about names and I told her that I had a list for all my future sons, but none for girls. Top of the list is Attila, and in a generous gesture I told her she could use it first, I even solved the problem of converting it to a female name: in Chile you can use pretty much anything as a middle name after Maria and it still sounds girly, Maria Attila was my best idea ever. But she didn't like it, and chose Amy Kaitlyn instead. I don't understand.

Oh, and about the hardest belly, I had never touched a pregnant woman's belly before. I assumed that they were soft, as they are full of water, but no, they are hard as a fuly inflated football. Unbelievable, super tight skin, andit sounds like a water melon. Now that I think about it, it feels, sounds, and moves like a water melon. It probably even weighs the same, about 8 pounds. Yep, water melon belly.



So, water melon belly stayed that way for the whole weekend, I flew to dallas on Monday and my father to Santiago on Tuesday, only my mother stayed to witness the birth late that Tuesday. I am not too keen on fresh babies anyway, they look much better when they are dry, with open eyes, some teeth, etc.

A lingering death

This is Mr Cricket, the first visitor I had in my office. Mr Cricket was very silent, without the right leg he didn't have anything to rub the left leg against and chirp.

I got curious and found the leg a couple of feet away, it seemed as though the cricket had drop it in a desperate attempt to shed weight and keep moving for a few more inches, the poor thing was almost dead.

It makes sense, crickets chirp to attract females and then mate, and as this little fella was clearly on its way out, mating was definitely not its priority, food and water probably were.

But then again, crickets jump, surely with both legs it would have gone faster farther? Or maybe it did just that for a while, jumping against the glass trying to get to the grass on the other side, and when the energy level was too low to jump, it shed the legs, just like the space shuttle drops the booster rockets after their fuel is burnt.

I guess I'll have to do some googling to find out about the slow death of crickets. Maybe I'll write a paper about it. What would have happened if the cricket had found food and water after sheding the legs? Would have it grown them back?